Life After Loss
by PheobeColelovers
Summary: PheobeCole of course. Life is going great, they're finally getting the family they wanted, but of course tragedy always occurs. Please read and review. Chapter 3 A Call for Help is now up
1. Losing Her

_**So, this is my new fic. Hopefully someone will like it. It's different than my others. Even though some points may seem similar to a couple of others, it will take off in a completely different direction. Please read and review. **_

**Life After Loss -Chapter 1-Losing Her**

Pheobe sat in the rocking chair, admiring the nursery-the light pink and sage colors that overwhelmed the room, the crib in the center. It was a perfect room, one which she and Cole had put a lot of work into and one which they would be proud to bring their new daughter home to.

She rocked gently, caressing her stomach and talking to the unborn infant.

"We love you so much, baby girl," she whispered to the baby. "We can't wait for you to be here."

It had taken three long years of trying but she was finally a reality-their miracle child. Just when they had given up hope, Pheobe had become pregnant and the reality that their child was really on the way had picked both of them up from utter despair. They knew that she would be their world, the only thing that would matter anymore.

"Good morning," Cole greeted his wife as he walked into the room and placed a kiss on her lips, afterward placing another one on her bulging belly. "And good morning to you, pumpkin."

"I don't like that. You need to think of a better pet name to call her," Pheobe instructed her husband, pouting.

"And what would you suggest?" Cole asked, though he knew the answer.

"Ladybug," she answered simply.

"You can call her ladybug. I'll stick with pumpkin," Cole said with a smile as he looked at the annoyed face of his wife. "Breakfast is waiting downstairs."

"Thanks, honey. What would I ever do without you?" Pheobe playfully asked as Cole helped her up from the rocking chair.

"You'll never have to find out," was his reply as they walked down the stairs.

He watched as the love of his life began to devour the food before her and realized that she had never looked so beautiful, so glowing, as she did at this moment and the thought that they would soon be holding their little girl made him even more at peace.

"So how are you feeling?" Cole asked her, waiting for the moment when she would tell him that it was time.

Before she had a chance to answer him, a look of pain spread over her face, and Cole immediately jumped to her aid. They had planned this, timed the trip to the hospital in various amounts of traffic. The bag was by the door, car seat already in the car. They were ready.

"Something's wrong, Cole. It doesn't feel right," Pheobe cried as a new round of painful looks plagued her facial features. "It's not supposed to feel like this."

In a moment, he had her in his arms, the bag on his shoulder and was carrying her to the car.

"We'll be there in five minutes. It'll be okay," Cole assured her as he got into the driver's side and began the short ride to the hospital.

He wasn't sure what was happening, if it was the labor pains and she just didn't know how they felt or if it was something else. But he knew that she still had the ability to read things, to know when something was going to happen even though she had stripped her powers. This worried him to no end but he refused to show it. These were his girls, his world, and he had to believe that they were all right.

Picking her up again, he carried her through the emergency double doors of the hospital and after having to wait a few minutes, they were taken to a room.

Pheobe, now lying in a hospital bed, a heart monitor beeping in the background, worried as she watched doctors and nurses go in and out of the room.

"It's okay. You're both going to be fine," Cole told her as he took her hand in his and kissed it. "Soon, we'll have our beautiful baby girl and she'll have your beautiful looks, and that perfect baby smell..."

"Keep going," Pheobe urged him as her eyes shut and a smile appeared on her face at the thought of their changing life.

"We'll take her home and raise her. She'll be stubborn. And she'll be independent, strong like her mother," Cole continued.

"And she'll have your eyes and she'll have you completely wrapped around her little finger. And she'll learn ballet and wear her hair in pigtails," Pheobe said, breathing in deeply as she visualized the child in her mind.

Cole stood up, smiling at his wife as he started pacing back and forth, waiting for the doctor to come back in.

"Cole!" her voice was loud and urgent and within a second he was holding her hand. "This isn't right. It's not supposed to feel like this. Something's wrong."

She kept repeating those words, 'Something's wrong.' And it was killing him to watch her, in pain, scared. The look of fear that shown in her eyes forced a shot of pain to enter his heart and he knew that it wasn't just the labor that was instilling this fear in his wife. There was something more.

At this point, a doctor walked in, head bent down. He looked up at them with a sullen expression on his face and Cole had to take a deep breath before hearing what the man had to say. He sat on the edge of the hospital bed and wrapped his arms around the woman he loved as he waited for the man to speak.

"Your wife's vital signs are very weak at the moment and we haven't been able to find the cause of this. She has no underlying condition so we really don't know what to think. The problem at hand is that the infant seems to be entering distress. She's safe at the moment but we may need to perform a cesarean section to deliver the baby safely," the doctor informed them.

Looking at each other, they believed that things would work out. It was just a c-section. Thousands of babies were delivered this way, happy and healthy.

"That sounds fine," Cole said, but looking at the doctor, he knew there was something else. "What is it?"

"Your wife is too weak for any type of operation. Putting her body under any kind of stress or surgery could harm her body. There's a chance she wouldn't survive," the man explained.

"How big of a chance?" he asked.

"70 percent. We'll try to get her vitals up but if we can't, you'll have to make a decision or both could die," the doctor gave them their options before leaving.

"Everything was fine. You and the baby were both healthy. Why now?" Cole screamed.

"Everything will be fine. Soon you'll see our daughter and it will have all been worth it," Pheobe told him.

"Don't you mean-soon we'll see our daughter?" Cole asked as he felt depression pit itself within his heart.

"No," she said simply as she slowly made circles on her bulging belly, not even caring how much pain was going through her body at the moment.

"I can't choose," Cole confessed. "I can't choose between my wife and my daughter. I won't be the reason you die."

"I'm choosing for you," she told him as she took his hand and put it on her stomach. "I'm choosing her. Without the c-section, she'll die."

"And with it, you will," Cole finished as he ran his fingers over her face.

"Don't cry," she pleaded as she wiped the few tears that were now rolling down his face away. "There's still a chance that I could live and if not, you'll have her."

After minutes of arguing and pleading, the doctor was informed that they would go through the c-section.

He held her hand as she was wheeled to the room where their daughter would be born.

Within two minutes, the sound of her cries filled the room, their beautiful, healthy daughter and Cole couldn't help but smile as he looked at her. Perfect like her mother. He glanced at his daughter but brought the focus of his attention back to his wife, who slightly smiled hearing her daughter.

"You did it," Cole exclaimed as he kissed his wife. "Now you can focus on getting better."

After saying it, he knew it wasn't a reality. She was pale and had a weak quality to her.

She was taken to a recovery room where the doctor informed both of them that she was only getting worse and final goodbyes would be the best thing to do.

Holding their daughter, he refused to believe that she would never know her mother.

"I can't live without you. I won't survive. You're the only thing that keeps me alive. You are my soul. You know that," Cole cried, not able to grasp the thought that the only thing he had ever loved was now disappearing.

"She will do that for you now," Pheobe whispered as she pointed weakly at the infant. "She will give you a reason to live."

Cole placed the baby into her mother's arms.

"This pure, beautiful soul will be your joy, your life. I trust you completely and know that she will have a happy and safe life. And I was right, she does have your eyes" Pheobe stated as she placed a small kiss on the infant's cheek. "Be safe, my little ladybug."

Pheobe was crying now and she made Cole take the child from her, who placed her in the basinet.

"I did what I was meant to do. She is why I was born. I have fulfilled my destiny. I can move on now. Your destiny is to raise her, to watch her grow up, teach her," she was trying so hard to rationalize things, to make her death easier on him.

In reality, it was killing her. She wanted more than anything to stay, to watch her little ladybug say her first words, go to kindergarden, have her first date. She wanted so badly to see her grandchild be born, but she had to believe that this was her destiny.

"Tell her about me, please if it doesn't hurt too much to talk about me. I don't want you to if it causes you pain, but could you please tell her how much I love her. I grew up without a mother, and I wish that she didn't have to face that, but as long as she has you, she'll be fine. I just want her to know how much I loved her and how much I wanted to stay with her," tears were falling freely now as she gave her husband her last requests.

This was the end, they both knew that.

"Stay strong," Pheobe encouraged her husband as she held his face in her hands, but slowly dropped them by her side. "Stay good. I know you can. You are the greatest man I've ever known, so I know that you will be the perfect father. I know that she will always be safe with you. I love you so much."

His head was lowered and his look was blank.

"Don't lose yourself because of this. You're a good man," her words were no louder than a whisper and she knew that this was it, she could barely raise her hand now, too weak to even move.

"I love you," he told her with all the love he held for her, his words stronger than anything she had ever felt.

"I know," she whispered as she slowly closed her eyes, the motion to hold them open slipping from her.

"Not yet," he cried as he looked from their daughter to her. "You didn't name her."

"You'll do fine," she mouthed to him as she began to slip away.

"No, please," he was on his knees beside the bed holding onto her, hoping that somehow she would be returned to him.

The monitor signaled that her heart had stopped and feeling her hand slip from his, he knew that she was gone. He could feel it deep inside as he felt a part of himself die along with her.

Their daughter began to cry at that moment, almost as if she knew what had happened, felt her mother leave the world.

Seeing a doctor walk in and jot something down on a clipboard, he attempted to stand up and go to their child, but found that he couldn't move, his pain holding him down. He couldn't leave her, not this soon. Her hands were still warm and he rested his head on her body as he tried with everything within him to grasp that she was really gone.

Without knowing how long he had been in that position, he finally found the strength to stand up. Reaching into the bassinet, he picked up their daughter who cooed in response.

Just holding her made him feel more at ease and he knew that as long as he had her, he would always hold a piece of his wife. He would do this right, raise her how she would have and he knew that he would have to start by naming their newborn daughter.

Sitting in a chair in the corner of the room as the doctors and nurses did what they needed to, he held a book of baby names and as his thoughts floated back to his wife's words, he knew he had found the perfect name. And so, he held Cailyn Psyche Turner, the pure, beautiful soul that would be the only thing that mattered, that would give him a reason to keep going.

She had saved him from a life of evil, showed him how to love, what life was about and he would continue to live as she had wanted him to and raise their daughter with everything she had taught him.

_**I honestly don't know why I thought of this. Just something different I guess. It was really sad even as I wrote it. I haven't done a fic which goes through Cole raising a child, showing him alone, taking care of a child so I thought it would be interesting. Maybe someone else will think so. Please review, even if it's to scream at me for killing Pheobe. Can't believe I did it, myself, but don't think that she won't come back. It is Charmed, after all. **_


	2. A Bad Feeling

_**Here's a new chapter. It takes place roughly five years after chapter 1. Hope you like it.**_

**Chapter 2-A Bad Feeling**

"Daddy, we're late," the young girl pushed her father as he got her bag out of the backseat of the car.

"We're not late. See, there's Kara," he assured her, as he pointed out another girl from her ballet class.

"She's late too," Cailyn responded, her pigtails bouncing as she ran to catch up with Kara.

He followed after his daughter, never taking his eyes off of her. She was perfect, a healthy, beautiful five year old and he would make sure she was never hurt. She was now his life and he was wrapped around her finger just as Pheobe had predicted he would be. She was a stubborn child and would not take no for an answer when she truly believed in something. Just like her mother, when dedicated to a cause, nothing could tear her away.

The class went by fast enough and by the time they got home, it was time for Cailyn to get ready for bed. They had a bedtime routine, one which they had never broken. Once she was ready for bed, he sat beside her, tucked her in, and began another one of his tales.

"There were three powerful good witches," he began.

"And mommy was the most powerful," Cailyn interrupted, having heard every single one of his stories, but longed for bedtime when he would repeat them.

"That's right," he answered her before continuing. "And they were meant to fight bad demons."

"And mommy saved you. Right, daddy?" Cailyn chimed in again as her eyelids began to droop and the need for sleep became overwhelming.

"That's right, baby," Cole responded as he leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Mommy saved me and you," he whispered.

"Daddy," she said, slowly opening her eyes as her father began to the leave the room. "Say it."

"Goodnight my little ladybug," he told her and she immediately began to fall back to sleep, a smile on her small face.

He stood in the doorway for a few moments after her eyes had closed, looking at the small bundle wrapped up in the quilt her mother had made for her, one which told the love story of her mommy and daddy. She had spent months working on it, finding the pieces of cloth from around the house, in boxes she had kept her keepsakes in, each of which told a story. One piece from their first date, one from their wedding. It was a monument to their love, something she had longed to explain to their child, how they had beaten all odds and had their miracle baby when everyone had believed it to be impossible. She didn't get that chance though and Cole felt as though it was now on him, everything

she had wanted to do with their little girl, everything she had wanted her to be.

He walked to his room, and carefully examining a picture of her, he fell into a peaceful sleep.

"Daddy, daddy! I saw her. I saw Mommy," Cailyn screamed as she attempted to shake the man awake.

Opening his eyes, he saw the excitement in the young girl's, and sitting up, he pulled her to him.

"What did you see?" he asked her, wondering if she had been sent back to them, to be the mother she was destined to be.

"I was sleeping and I saw her. She had my blanket," Cailyn explained, showing the quilt to her father as though it were proof of her encounter. "Her belly was huge! She was talking to it. Why didn't she stay with us, daddy?"

"Remember when I told you about how Mommy could see into the past and the future, about her power called premonitions," he began to explain and when they girl nodded, he continued. "Well, you have it too."

"I have premotions like Mommy," Cailyn exclaimed very loudly.

"Premonitions," Cole corrected the little girl. "You saw mommy when she was still alive. Her belly was big because you were in there," he explained to the child.

She didn't seem to completely get what he was saying, premonitions, and everything. She only knew that she had seen her for the first time, moving, not in a picture like she was used to seeing. She was rocking in a chair holding the quilt, a smile on her face as she talked to her stomach.

"So mommy's not coming back?" the blue-eyed girl asked her father, somewhat devastated that what she had seen had already happened.

"No, sweetie," he answered her solemnly, cupping her small face in his hands. "She's watching us though and protecting us from all the bad men just like she did when she was alive."

"I wish she could be here," Cailyn told her daddy.

"I know, baby. So do I, but Mommy wouldn't want us to be sad," he said as he kissed her forehead. "So why don't we go get you ready for school."

After dropping Cailyn off at school, Cole drove to work, a place he had come to hate. He sat in his office, slacking off on the workload, too distracted to even give the impression that work was being done. Something felt off. He couldn't describe it. All he knew was that he had a bad feeling about the whole day. By eleven, when he still couldn't shake the feeling off, he decided to take the rest of the day off and began the drive to the elementary school. A knot had formed in the pit of his stomach and he feared that there was something demonic going on.

"I need to pick up my daughter, Cailyn Turner," he told the woman in the office of the school, showing his identification.

"But you already picked her up," the woman answered him, glancing from him to a clipboard which sat in front of her. "Ten minutes ago," she added.

_**So, who has Cailyn and how will Cole get her back? You'll just have to wait. Hopefully not long though. I'll try to update as soon as possible. Please review.**_


	3. A Call For Help

_**Here's a new chapter which I hope will be appreciated and hopefully there are still loyal Charmed readers even after the series finally. Keep the show alive people!**_

**A Call For Help**

A knock on the door interrupted the routine of the hectic Halliwell manor and taking a second away from making lunch, Piper looked at her eldest son, "Wyatt, can you get the door?"

He jumped down from his spot on a kitchen stool and made his way to the door with only a slight grumble escaping his lips.

"Hey, I know you," the ten year old simply stated as he opened the door to find the man he had once referred to as 'Uncle Cole' standing on the other side.

"Hey, Wyatt," Cole greeted the blonde haired boy, forcing a smile to make sure he didn't burden the young boy with his worry. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

"My mom teaches us at home," Wyatt explained as he moved from his spot in front of the door to allow the man to enter. "I'll go get her."

"Wyatt, who is it?" Piper asked as she walked into the room, but stopped abruptly as she saw the man standing in the foyer, and turning to Wyatt, she ordered, "Go to the kitchen with Chris and eat your lunch."

"I need your help," Cole pleaded on the verge or tears once the boy had left the room. "She's gone and I don't have the power to save her. I can't lose her. She's my world."

"What do you mean? What happened?" Piper asked as she moved to the livingroom and sat on the couch, waiting for her questions to be answered.

"I went to the school to pick her up, but she was gone," Cole explained. "They said that I had already picked her up. I need you to scry for her or use the spell to call a lost witch. Something. Anything. I just need you to tell me where she is. I'll get to her somehow."

He was in a panic now, distraught, terrified that he had once again failed the one he had sworn to protect. He lost her mother, he couldn't lose her too.

"Please," he let out as he took a deep breath. "She's your niece. Forget about everything that happened between us. She's all that's left of your sister. She's what Pheobe gave her life for."

Sighing, Piper gave him a long look before finally opening her mouth, "Paige!"

Within a minute, Paige was thumbing through the Book of Shadows while Piper began with the potion, letting her senses be her guide as to what ingredients she placed into the bowl as Cole paced the length of the attack, mentally kicking himself for being so utterly useless.

He had never regretted getting rid of his powers, that is until this moment. The powers he had acquired in the Wasteland were driving him mad and he knew that if Pheobe hadn't bound them, they would have never been remarried, never had three blissful years of love, marriage, but what good was anything if he couldn't protect their daughter now. What he wouldn't give to have Belthazar returned to him after seven long years of being free from his other half.

"We have to know who we're scrying for," Paige began, keeping her distance from Cole. "Do you have something of hers?"

"Would a picture work?" Cole asked as he pulled out his wallet and took out one of the many photographs he had tucked away, and when she nodded, he placed it in her hands before shoving his hands in his pockets and beginning to pace again.

"She looks just like her," Paige noticed as she took in the small girl's smile and ran her hands gingerly over it as she began to scry for her. "She has her smile."

"I know," Cole let a small grin cross his lips before his mind reminded him that his little girl was in a place unknown to him, surrounded by demons.

"We got her," Paige stated as the crystal fell and while Piper walked to her carrying potions, she looked Cole's way. "Stay here."

"I'm going," he declared as he touched Piper's arm in an effort to join the orb and after a short silence all three orbed out of the room.

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"Dammit, Leo! Take me back!" Cole shouted as he released himself and found that he was in the solarium of the manor. "I could've fought!"

"And you would've died," the blonde man responded as he looked and saw his boys watching television and added in a lower voice, "They'll get her back."

Cole didn't respond as he allowed himself to be brought back to the many memories he had of this situation. When Belthazar had been stripped from him, Pheobe had been afraid for him to help her with any demon fighting out of fear that she would lose him. A bit of irony, he thought bitterly, that all of their preparations and precautions over demons couldn't have done a damn thing to save her. After all their worrying, nothing could have prepared them for what had been the culprit of her death. His thoughts were cut short as he noticed the familiar beginnings of an orb and his heart began to race.

"Daddy!" the small girl ran from the two women and jumped into his waiting arms. "There were lots of bad demons."

"Are you hurt?" he asked her as he looked her over for injuries before he repeated again, "Did they hurt you?"

"No, don't worry daddy. Mommy protected me," Cailyn told her father as she snuggled closer to him.

"What do you mean, baby?" he asked her as he sat down with the child in his lap and she faced him. "Did you see Mommy?"

"No, but one of the bad demons was gonna hurt me but then I felt somethin' happy and then he couldn't get to me," she explained before leaning in to whisper in her father's ear. "Mommy was standin' in front of me. I could feel her."

Relieved that his daughter was safe, Cole smiled at her and pulled her into a hug and was glad that his daughter had gotten the chance to at least feel her mother's love. He knew the feeling the girl was talking about. He had felt it as soon as he would walk into the same room as Pheobe. She always gave off happiness in waves and even after her death, he could still feel it, in their house, and in their daughter.

"Thank you," Cole spoke to the two women standing before getting up as well, still holding the five year old. "But I think we need to get going."

Piper looked at Paige before starting, "We want her to stay here."

Cole put Cailyn down and kneeled down so that he was at her level. "How about you go into that room with the two little boys. I'm sure they have some fun things for you to play with," he stood up again and watched as she ran out of the room.

"I appreciate your concern with her safety, but I'm her father and she's been fine with me for the last five years. Yes, I needed your help today, and I thank you for finding my baby girl, but I am not leaving her with you," Cole calmly informed him, afraid that if he raised his voice, Cailyn would hear.

"She's not safe with you," Paige began. "Besides the fact that you were a demon and have God knows how many enemies, you have no powers to protect her.

"She's our niece. We want her to be safe," Piper chimed in.

"Oh, that's rich. Where were you when she was born? You've only seen her once even though I offered to bring her by regularly for visits with you and the boys so that she could get to know her family. The only time you saw her was at the funeral and even then, you wanted nothing to do with her. You can't blame her for Pheobe's death! You hated the fact that Pheobe was pregnant with my child, that she would be part demon. Do you know how many nights Pheobe cried herself to sleep because her sisters wanted nothing to do with her anymore, that the baby she wanted more than anything in the world, you hated. She died to give our daughter life and I know she would make the same decision over and over again if given another chance," Cole let all his anger out. "Don't stand here and tell me you want what's best for my daughter, that you know what's best for her. I slipped up today, I know. She's never been attacked, and after five years, I didn't think they would come for her, but now I know better and I will protect her. I'll figure out how."

He didn't wait for responses as he walked out of the room and took the hand of his daughter from her spot on the floor in front of the television.

"Come on, Cailyn. We gotta go home," he told the girl, softening his voice. "Since you were such a brave girl today, you can have whatever you want for dinner tonight and we'll stop at an ice-cream shop after we eat dinner."

She happily got up and walked to the car with him. "Can we eat at McDonald's?"

"Whatever you want, my little ladybug," he kissed the top of her head as he placed her securely in the car and they drove off to fill up the five year old with chicken nuggets and ice-cream, unaware that they would be in for the fight of their lives with what tomorrow would bring.

_**So, hope it was an okay chapter. Please review. Umm...about the whole timeline thing. It basically takes off from the fifth season. The only thing that stayed the same was the birth of Chris. Pheobe bound Cole's powers instead of vanquishing him, so they were able to get back together instead of Cole's powers driving him insane(which I am convinced was the cause of Cole's insanity, that and rejection) **_

_**So, I'm gonna shut up now. And I promise to update soon cuz I feel so bad about taking forever.**_


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